Below is a fifth grade realistic fiction model publication that is humorous, has a tremendous amount of internal thinking, wonderful dialogue, strong action verbs, descriptive details, and an easy-to-follow plot.
Involved With The World
I headed over to the fridge to get some water. I needed to clear out my throat. My nostril was clogged with snot. As I drank the water I sneezed and a big stream of snot came rolling down my mouth right into my cup of water. I spit the water that was in my mouth into the sink.
“Gross, AHCHOO!” I ran to the bathroom and vomited a great deal into the toilet.
“Hey, you OK?” said Jessica. She walked over and gave me a hug as I continued to cough. “Hey don’t get me sick. You are looking nastier by the minute.”
“Thanks, I feel so much better,” I said sarcastically.
” I’m gonna call you a doctor ,” said Jessica.
When the doctor arrived, he sat down at the table across from me and pulled out a thermometer. He turned it on and pushed it under my tongue. Soon it began to beep. I dropped my eyes down to look at the thermometer, but my head began to hurt. I pulled it out my mouth and looked at it. I read 105.3. I felt vomit coming up my throat so I threw the thermometer on the table. I headed to the bathroom, lifted up the seat, and spit out all I had. I grabbed a bucket from under the bathroom sink and brought it with me to the couch.
“Looks like you have a temperature,” said the doctor. I began to vomit some more. The doctor patted my back as he pulled out some medication and gave it to me to drink. I drank it and laid down with two big comforters on top of me. I reached for the bucket on the floor and put it next to me.
“I’m going to go in the kitchen and make you some of my famous soup,” said Jessica.
“Also can you bring her some water I’m going to give her some medication to help her fall asleep,” said the doctor.
“Sure,” said Jessica.
“Carmen, when you wake up I’m going to come back to see how you are feeling, and if you are still not feeling well I will take you to the hospital to see what is wrong with you. I began to wonder off in my dreams.
“I’m hungry.” Jessica looked in to my eyes and handed me the soup.
“Thanks,” she ran to the phone to call the doctor.
“She woke up doctor you may come back now,” then she looked at me.
“I know you are sick and everything but I have dirt.”
“Spill,” I said curiously.
“Ryan asked me out.”My jaw dropped, because ya see, Ryan wasn’t really just any guy, he was a player. He treated every girl that he dated like dirt. He would get you to like him so much that you would never want to leave him when he treated you like dirt. ” Yeah, yeah, I know I was shocked to.” I put down the bowl of soup and kept my jaw down. I laid back put the pillow on my face and screamed as loud as I could. What had been going on since when did he like her? Was he running out of girls to treat like garbage.
“OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYY GOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, what am I going to wear I forgot I need something to wear.” She ran in to her closet. Soon she came out with a dress pressed against her body.
“This is perfect,” she said as she came out to show me. My jaw was still down from when she told me he was taking her out.
Ding Dong! I forced myself to get up and opened the door and it was my doctor. He had come to check on me.
“So how are you doing?”
“I”m holding on,”I said
“Alright I’m going to leave these for you, take some every 4 hours, I don’t think I need to take you to the hospital I think it’s just a cold.” He handed me a bottle of medication.
“Thanks,” I said as he walked toward the door.
“Oh,sorry,” said a voice at the door. Was the doctor talking to himself? Was someone trying to kill me? In walked a tall man, with brown hair, a gray shirt, jeans, and gray and white sneakers.
“Hey, Carmen is Jessica here?” said Jared.
“Jared what are you (cough) doing here?” He was one of our best friends. We met him at a baseball game. He was so nice to us, now he goes to the same college as us. I always thought he liked her.
“I can’t let her go out with that guy,” said Jared searching the house.
“You know that guy has a name,” I said being annoying.
“Yeah I know, but I prefer to call him that guy,” Jared stated.
“Yeah, I know what you mean I don’t want her to go out with him either,” I told him.
“He’s Ryan, she obviously doesn’t know anything about him,” said Jared disliking Ryan.
“Jared,” said Ryan as he walked in the door.
“Jessica,”said Jared excited to see her.
“Carmen!” I said. Everyone turned and looked at me.
“OK maybe not,” I said.
“Jared what are you doing?” said Jessica. “here… in our house?”
“He’s a jerk, he’ll treat you like garbage,” said Jared trying to sound convincing.
“Wait have you ever done that before?”I asked, but Jared ignored me.
“Hey um, I’m right here.”Jared gave a dirty look.
“The point is I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Dude back off.”said Ryan.
“That is your cue to leave,” I said.
” No, don’t, we were just on our way out.”
“But he came to see you.”Jessica ignored me and walked towards the door.
“Jared I’m…”Jared walked out the door like an unfed puppy.
“AW WW, poor Jared.” I stopped and thought about it for a moment.
“Now I”m going to have to fix this.” I kicked the wall and ran up stairs to put on some clothes.
As I got down stairs I grabbed my coat and a box of tissues on the living room table.
“I’m gonna need this,” I said.I drove to Jared’s house.
Ding Dong. Jared got up and looked through the whole.
“I…I just want to talk.”Jared opened the door, and let me in. We walked to the couch to sit down.
“Look, I know you don’t want to Jessica get hurt, neither do I, but you can’t change her mind with your opinion. You have to let her learn from this. Think of it as a life learning lesson .”
“But not only do I not want to see her get hurt, I like her a lot.”
“You like Jessica, well that’s a shocker.”
“Yeah, and I don’t want her to go out with him.”
“Yeah, and so is that,” I said sarcastically. Jared got up and went into the kitchen.
“You know you can always go crash their date.”
“No, she would never speak to me again.”
“All the more reason to do it,” I said sounding persuasive.
“You see, if she stops talking to you, you will most likely get over her and then you will start seeing other people and she will get jealous so she will want to go out with you.”
“Then she would realize that it’s really me that she likes.” Said Jared agreeing with me.
I can’t believe he is actually agreeing with me. I thought.
” Wait what did I just say?” Jared looked at me smiling and ran up stairs to his room.
“What just happened?” I said looking confused.(cough)”Man I’ve got to get rid of this thing that’s growing inside of me. I reached into My bag and pulled out the tissue box to blow my nose.
When I got home every single light was off but when I tried to turn it on, it didn’t work.
“Jessica, Jessica, what’s going on with the light’s.” What was going on did someone rob the house and disconnect the light’s. Was there a serial killer going around who disconnected the light’s and then killed you? I ran up stair’s, and looked behind me to make sure no one was there trying to kill me.I ran to Jessica’s room to see if she was there. There she was, laying down on the floor with tears rolling down her face one after another. I plopped myself on the ground.
“What happened,” I said shocked.Out of all the years I’ve known Jessica I’ve never seen her cry like this.
“I turned the power off,” she said continuing to cry.
“No, no I mean why are you crying?”
“Jared called and told me that he was leaving to go somewhere because I didn’t care about him.”
“I didn’t tell him to leave.”I whispered under my voice
“What?” said Jessica.
“Nothing, it will be alright. Come we are gonna go fix the electricity and then I will make you some hot chocolate with marshmallow’s.”
The next two weeks were like a boring book with no excitement. Jared was going to leave in a week.
“You need to talk to him Jess, tell him that you don’t want him to go.”
“He doesn’t want to speak to me.”
“Trust me he ACHOO, does.”
“Fine I will go talk to him after school, but if he doesn’t talk to me…”
“You will just continue to try and talk to him, I gotcha.”
After school Jessica went to go talk to Jared he was in the Park around the corner from the school listening to music.
“Hey,” said Jessica.
“Look I don’t…”
“What do you want if you are looking for Ryan he is not here so go away and don’t waste my time.”
“Actually I came to see you. I don’t want you to leave. Who’s gonna say really stupid things to make me laugh, or play Foosball with me just to let me win, and…”
“I’m sure Ryan will do all that because according to you he has changed.”
“I never said that.”
“But you go out with him knowing the things you know, so you obviously you think he has changed.”
“I don’t know anything.”
“Then that’s just it you don’t know anything about him. Look, I don’t care, do what ever you want.
Things started to get worse Jessica was still going out with Ryan.It seemed like what Jared said still didn’t change her mind. I felt like she had mad the wrong choice.The next day I sat on the couch waiting for her to come home after her classes.
“I’m home,” she said walking in the door. While she was passing by she saw me there with two of my arms crosses and very unhappy.
“Jessica what are you doing?”
“Going to take a shower.”
“I mean what are you doing going out with Ryan, are you crazy?”
“No, I’m not and that’s none of your business.”
“My little sister is dating a jerk and that’s none of my business, are you insane. You can’t do this, he will hurt you I guaranty you. I’m not gonna let you do this. You have to break up with him,” I screamed.
“You can’t make me. You don’t control me, you may be my older sister but you definitely, do NOT control me. Since when do you tell me who I can and cannot date. Maybe you need to go back to sleep and I don’t know wake up again, give me my space.
“SPACE, OK I’ll give you some SPACE, Let me go up to my room so that you have plenty of space.”
“Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?” said Jessica walking in to my room.
“Yeah,(cough) sure come in,” I said.
“Look I’m sorry about what I said. I’m in this space because of you, honestly I would not be here. I am sorry and I hope you forgive me pleasssssssssssssse.”
“Look I just don’t want to see you get hurt, and neither does Jared.
“I know but he just refuse to believe that I never really knew anything about Ryan.”
“Oh, no he believes that, he just can’t believe that you would actually like a gut like Ryan.”
The next day Jessica went over to Ryan’s house to talk to him.
“Hey, Ryan I need to talk to you. I have heard a lot about you from my sister and from..
“Who, Jared. Everybody believes this lie that’s not true. He’s been saying this ever since I hug his girlfriend in like 7th grade he said I liked her just because I hug her. Then he found out that she liked me and not him anymore, now he started this roomer so every girl I go out with here’s about and try’s to break up with me but I’m not gonna let you beat me to the punch, get off my porch.”
“Whatever, I still at least wanted to be….”
“If you would stop cutting me off I would tell you, but yes, it doesn’t seem like that’s gonna happen.” Jessica walked away with an unhappy face.
“I..” But it was too late. She was already gone.
“You did the right thing,” said a voice from the bushes.
I came out from behind the bushes.
“I am proud of you, even I’m sad that he had to tell you off like that,lets just go home and try to forget about the past three weeks, (cough),”I said.
“And get you into bed,”said Jessica.